A Love Letter To Me

You know. I look at you sometimes and am amazed at how incredible you are. Like God really took the time to piece you together. Thinking through every detail of your being from the depth of your heart, the liveliness of your spirit, the charm of your personality, and the kindness of your soul. He even thought through making you a little funny too. You’ve got one of the most beautiful smiles I’ve ever seen on a woman and eyes shaped like almonds naturally pretty and brown. It’s crazy that without make-up you are still the apple of His eye. And even still he gave you the artistic skill and ability to beat your face to heavens and dress to the nines in a way that even angels turn, stare and swoon at the sight of you. God really did his thang. You may just think I’m gassing you, but you truly are dark yet lovely. Like the curtains of Kedar. I don’t think it was an accident God allowed you to find such solitude in the poetry of the verses Song of Solomon 1:5-6 painted for you. Girl you are really something. And you have been blessed with so much favor. I am always in awe of the way God has used you as a vessel even when the times were hard. I’m proud of you for still knowing your value and standing in your worth, but I hope you start believing you are just as deserving of the love you give out to the world and that it is in fact possible that humans on earth can love you too (especially the male species). That you can be treated with kindness and respect, that you won’t be discarded like trash whenever people choose to get rid of you and that you stop feeling like you won’t ever experience the love that’s meant for you. You are a loving and living testament of what God can do. And you have pages of examples of how you’ve seen God come through. He is just as much in you as He is around you. And I’m so proud of you for not shutting Him out especially when life tackled you and made you feel like it wasn’t worth living. I’m glad you saw things through and trusted that everything really does work out for good and know that truly God would never withhold any good thing from you. But if you know that about God, I pray that you learn to really give Him everything. And by everything I mean your heart. Trust that He will handle it with care and that He has been handling it all of this time. That even with the disappointments you’ve experienced, He’s been keeping you. Protecting you. Redirecting you towards the Best that He has created specifically for you.

I don’t know all the ways God is going to use you, but I know you’re meant for something big. It’s not an accident that you were named Lauren Nicole Rascoe. A name that not only has a ring to it, but also means that you are a representation of victory and victory of the people. That is no accident. There is so much strategy behind why you are here and I pray that you embrace that notion, that you are planted and not buried. That you are marked and that you are a purpose chaser. That you are ALREADY SOMEBODY. I pray that you start showing yourself the love that you deserve and are receptive and accepting of the love that will be returned.  Its okay to protect your energy and to guard your heart, but be mindful that with the walls you’ve built up, what have you been keeping in and what are you keeping out? Has that been useful? Has that been necessary? Is it even beneficial? I want you to recognize that good things should still be able to access you. You are deserving, Lauren. Open yourself up. I pray that you get more rest, that you feed your body the fuel it needs, and that you take more time for yourself. I am sure that as you open up and are receptive… greater will meet you and blessings will continue to flow and outpour into those around you. Allow yourself to be on the receiving end. It’s okay to receive. You do not always have to be the one to give and to do. You don’t have to do it all by yourself. Welcome in your community into your world and allow them to help you. Because YOU ARE DESERVING. 

I am so proud of the woman you are becoming and it is my prayer that you embrace each and every moment. Remember to be present and to be gentle with yourself. You haven’t been here before and each moment should be seen as a gift when it comes. You are more than a conqueror and God has got you covered. His hand on you and you are truly one of his favorites.

I love you. Love and Light

Lauren 

3.22.2021