Dear Future Lover: Instructions on How to Love Me

Instructions on How To Love Me — Shan BOODY

So, I LOVE Shannon Boodram.. aka @ShanBoody.

And at the end of July 2017, she made a video entitled, Instructions on How to Love Me. In this video, she presented a challenge that encouraged followers, like me, to write their own Instructions on #HowToLoveMe. This challenged stemmed from the understanding that every person we come in contact with is wired differently. We all require different things when it comes to love, affection, and happiness; but often times we treat our partners how we would want to be loved, rather than learning the ways in which they want and need to be loved. The idea brought about by this challenge is to help people understand us before deciding to love us.

Be sure to check out her video (above) if you haven’t seen it yet.

Now after watching her video, I kind of jumped right into writing my own instructions down. Although I didn’t quite make a short list, it really helped me to take a look at myself and be aware of the things that made me feel appreciated and loved in my past relationships and what things I wish could have been done (better, if at all). Once I finished the list, I felt accomplished and like I could better communicate my wants/needs in a future relationship (whenever that comes), but it took me a long time to decide that people should know my instructions and if I was even comfortable with sharing…

But now that we’re here…

These are my Instructions on How to Love Me:

  • Be patient. Take it slow. Build a strong foundation with me.

  • Learn how to be my best friend FIRST.

  • Love God and love growing in your own relationship with Him.

  • Be honest and real with me.

  • Know yourself + love yourself. Be true to yourself…always.

  • Have your own goals/ambitions. Have some business outside of me. Be passionate about something.

  • Be willing to provide your undivided attention. Be present. Show up.

  • Listen. Talk to me. Share your stories. Confide in me. Trust me. Express yourself.

  • Encourage my creativity and self-expression. Push me to be a better version of myself.

  • Remind me to practice self-love, self-care and intentional living.

  • Support my ambition and my quirkiness. [because I’m weird].

  • Hold my hand.

  • Be a free space to love and exist freely.

  • Touch me. Kiss me. Hold me close. Forehead kisses and kisses on my cheeks. Kiss me passionately. Cuddle me. But always respect me and my boundaries.

  • Be playful with me.

  • Enjoy simple things and moments with me.

  • Write me letters. Leave notes…especially love notes.

  • Be sweet. And goofy. Laugh at yourself.

  • Let me have my space. Especially when upset or angry. I will talk when I am ready.

  • Compliment me. Call me beautiful or anything like that, like it is my name.

  • Be my #1 Fan. Gas me up. Encourage me to be all I can be. Pray for me.

  • Be intentional. In everything you do… Mean it.

So what are some of your instructions on how to be loved? Share them with me in the comments!

Be sure to check out more of ShanBoody’s content on her website, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube!

Lauren Rascoe